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The Present

July 1, 2010

Monty is regarding me from the other end of the bar, his expression one of gentle empathy. He can no doubt see that I am sad, and is kindly laying off with the ‘cheeky’ landlord banter for today. Thank goodness. I hate having to make small talk and pretend to be ‘alright’ when actually, I feel like a bag of crap. Today is, was, would have been, our 5 year anniversary, and you should be here with me. But you are not.

I, we, often came here to wind down at the end of the working day,  you always had a beer,  I always had a G and T.  We were always together. Until last month.

The argument was different this time. We used to shout, rant, vent and purge ourselves of the things that were causing us distress. But then We would also, quite often, end up crying with laughter at some outrageous insult thrown out of sheer frustration, when the argument no longer held water.
These arguments would generally end in the bedroom, where we would thrash out the last of the debate physically. The winner of the argument always being the dominant force behind the sex.

We haven’t done that in a while. Somehow the effort of having a proper ‘to do’ got too much.  It was as if we both, at some unknown point in time decided not to bother any more. And I miss it.  And these days, sex between us is more like a chore than a pleasure.
When did it happen?. When did ‘Clearing the air’  become ‘Sighing, then buggering off to do the dishes’, without either of us noticing?.
That,  in essence,  was the crux of our last ‘row’.
Only,  It wasn’t a row.   It was just a discussion. A very adult,  matter of fact,  mature conversation, culminating in you walking into the study and quietly closing the door.

I heard you coming out of the lift arriving home from work at the usual time, my ire was suddenly piqued by the sameness of it all,  ‘How very normal’,  I thought,  ‘It’s all so very bland, and very, very fucking predictable!.
“We need to talk.” I said, watching you set down your bag and keys as you closed the front door.  I waved the elderly contents of the bread bin at you,
“I am sooo sick of being the only person who cleans out the mouldy shit from this kitchen!”.
you looked at me with an expression that was hard to fathom. you shook your head, shrugged and simply said,  “Sorry.”
Yet again my hopes for a mighty protest from you were dashed with a dismissive gesture.

I slumped down on one of the kitchen chairs, the bread still in my hand. I looked down at it, the solid slabs, curling at the edges, loosely covered with forlorn looking plastic that was not sealed up properly after the last, salvageable slice hiccupped its way out of the toaster.
“This is not the only thing going stale around here”, I growled. You were silent.

You walked into the kitchen, snapped on the kettle and joined me at the table, I looked up at you and was immediately taken aback by the hurt in your expression.
“I know” You replied.
I felt as if you had slapped me. My mind reeled.
What!?… Did he really just say that!?…
It had simply never occurred to me that you might feel the same.

After this revelation, I felt a sense of dreadful defeat. It had finally happened, ‘We’ had become…dull. The rest of the conversation consisted mainly of me bitching and you agreeing, then later, whenever I would suggest some way we could maybe fix things, you found a reason why it wouldn’t work. The world shrank around me as quiet resignation took hold. You didn’t want me anymore. You didn’t even try to protest when I suggested we should have a break from one another!.
We decided, very sensibly, that I would go and stay with a friend while you found somewhere else, and that we would ‘see how things went’.  And everyone knows what that really means.

That night I packed solemnly, numbed by the process, and went to stay with my friend Liza. I have cried, shouted, slept (a lot) and generally made a nuisance of myself. Liza, as always, the perfect hostess and steadfast shoulder to cry on, has listened, laughed, cried and patiently put up with me as I unravel and fall apart.
One thing has repeatedly occurred to me over this time, I don’t know how to function without you.

Tonight, I decided to test the water and come out alone for a drink. I chose to come here because it is familiar and I thought I wouldn’t feel too out -of-place. The problem with this place though, is just that. It is familiar and ‘we’ are a regular feature here. Everyone keeps asking me where, and how you are. I know the answer to both of those questions, but I don’t want to  say it out loud to anyone. “we have separated”.
It just seems too final.

We have spoken on the phone every day since I left. I always try to sound aloof, but you know it is a facade. You tell me you miss me. I do not say it back, even though my heart is breaking and I long to see you.
This was a big mistake!. Choosing our anniversary to venture out into the world of  ‘singledom’ again, was foolish. Sadness and  loneliness mixed with alcoholic beverages does not make for good times!

I initially entertained the idea of polishing off this G and T ( my third), and heading back to Liza’s for another sobbing session. The alcohol has not done wonders for my countenance. Problem is, I don’t want to be alone and Liza has gone out with her
lovely new man this evening, so the house is empty. One for the road I think.
I tilt my glass toward Monty with a wry smile and he obliges my request with a double.
“On the house Kim, just because I like ya!”. He gives me a grin and a wink and plops in a couple of ice cubes.

“Thanks Monty!”. I rummage in my bag pretending to look for something and thus avoid any further conversation, luckily another customer arrives, drawing him to the other end of the bar. I know many of the people who regularly come in here and deliberately don’t look over to see who it is. I fear that making eye contact with someone would draw me
into conversations I don’t want to have.

Then, I hear your voice.

“Double scotch please Monty, and another for the pretty lady over there!”. ‘What?, has he met someone else already’?
I instinctively look behind me, expecting to find someone else standing there. Then I realise that you mean me. I catch sight of my sorry reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar. ‘Unkempt’ is a word that springs to mind. My heart is racing and
my mouth is suddenly dry, I gulp at my drink and Monty delivers me another as you make your way over to me.
You are smiling, your light stubble highlights your beautiful, sensual mouth. Your eyes, oh my god, those soulful, deep, brown eyes. I watch your approach in the mirror, but do not look directly at you, I can’t bear to look into those eyes. I will surely die.

“You look familiar”. You say, cheerily. “Have I seen you in here before?”.

I keep my gaze fixed on the mirror and, from somewhere inside me a small voice escapes.
“I used to come in here”, I say quietly, “With my husband, but It’s the first time I’ve
been in since the separation”.

I hope to sound detached, but probably look as nervous as I feel.
“Really?, well if you ask me, he must have been a complete moron, and clearly mad to
let go of a sex kitten like you”. Your eyes twinkled with mischief.
Monty just looks at us both, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Then quickly makes himself scarce with a knowing wink.
“Well, anyway, It’s nice to meet you. My name is Jake by the way!”. You hold out your hand for me to shake. ” And you are..?”

I am not really in the mood for games, and the alcohol is starting to go to my head, but I decide to play along, just to see where this is going.
” I’m known round these parts as Kim”, I quipped “but everybody just calls me, well.. Kim, really”.  You laugh, a sound I haven’t heard for some time, it surprises me a little though I do detect a hint of nervousness.
“Well kim, you are, without doubt, the sexiest thing I have seen in a while” You look me up and down with a brazen lust that I have never seen in you before. My pulse quickens.
“Why thank you, You’re looking pretty good yourself” I say with a smile.

You take my chin in your hand and tilt my face up, forcing me to look you in the eyes, if I were standing, my knees would no longer be supporting me. Oh god those eyes, that look, the soft Irish lilt to your accent. The very same things that first attracted me to you all those years ago. When did I forget how much I love you?
You look around my face as though giving me an appraisal, “Hmm,”  You say,  “Yes I think
you’ll do nicely”
“For what, exactly?” I ask
“Well, Kim”,  The very sound of my name on your lips sends shivers down my spine, “Common decency dictates that I can’t describe ‘exactly’ what I plan to do with you right now, but I can tell you this, ”  You lean close to my ear and whisper,  “Things will never be the same again”
I raise an eyebrow, “Is that a promise?” I ask with a smile.

“Indeed it is, but, there are three things I need to know before we proceed”.
“And they are?” I asked.
“First and most importantly, I need to know that you want this, that you want me. There is no point me taking you out of here if you are going to chicken out on me halfway”.
At this, I stand up, slide my arms around your waist and tiptoe to kiss you, our breath mingles briefly before our mouths crush together, our tongues finding each other, it is as if I am tasting you for the first time.
“You bet your life, I want it!” I say breathlessly, steadying myself against you.
“Second, you must agree to do exactly as I tell you, no if’s, and’s or but’s”,  Your fingers lightly grip the hair at the back of my head, “This is not a democratic deal, obey or be punished!”. This sounds, and feels, deliciously ominous. Heart racing and
mind reeling, the best I can manage is a quiet, “ok”.
“and the third thing?” I enquire.
“your place or mine?” you ask with a wicked grin, taking me by the hand and leading me out of the bar.

We scurry to your car and head for Liza’s house, it seemed appropriate that we should embark upon this in unfamiliar territory. In the foot well of the car, I notice a  gift wrapped box, I reach down to look at it.
“Uh uh uh”, you say slapping the back of my hand “You only get a present if you are a really good girl!”
“This is for me?”. I ask.
“Not yet it’s not”, You reply. “You have to impress me before you get a gift, think of it as more of a ‘target driven bonus'”.

You park on Liza’s driveway, we get out and you go to the trunk, pulling out a sports bag. You grab the mystery gift from the foot well too.
“I hope you’re not thinking of making me do any excercise!”, I laugh.

Your face is dark and solemn, “We have an agreement, you will do as you are instructed!”.
We go inside and you demand we go straight to the bedroom. You close the door behind us and drop the bag onto the bed. You turn on my stereo and put on some music, you take me by the shoulders and stand me at the foot of the bed.
“Now, strip for me” you say, firmly.
“What?” I ask in disbelief, as you settle yourself onto the bed.
“Oh come on Kim, don’t play it coy!”, You spit the words at me, “You know how to strip! you must have seen it done, now do it!, dance for me and take off your clothes!”.

You lay back on the bed and unzip your fly, I watch, dumbstruck, as you start to stroke yourself.  I begin to move, but I am awkward, I feel clumsy and oafish, my poor attempt at a strip tease a far cry from the sinuous, feline movements of the professionals. I fumble to remove my t-shirt and bra. It is mortifying!.
“No, no!” you shout, “this is terrible!, come on!, put some fucking effort into it!, show me what you’ve got for me!”
I try again, almost desperate to please you, then realise I am just not dressed for the occasion. There is simply no way to ‘sexily’ remove trainers and socks!, I briefly entertain the idea of leaving them on but then realise that I won’t be able to pull my jeans off over them .
“Stop!” You say, firmly, “Just stop!”, You shake your head and instruct me just to sit on the bed and take off the rest. I do.

I hear you take something from the bag, you kneel on the bed behind me and stroke my hair. “Well, I have to say, this has been very disappointing. I am afraid you will have to be punished for your poor performance”. Your voice is soft and calming.
I try to turn towards you but you won’t let me.  You tell me to close my eyes, then slowly and carefully Tie on a soft leather blindfold. The smell of it is exciting and intoxicating, suddenly the world seems much smaller and all I can hear is your ragged breath. I am vulnerable and horny, excited and intrigued. You have barely even touched me and I am already desperate to fuck you.

I hear noises, sounds of things being removed from the bag, I wonder what you will do to me next. “Now kim, my love, I have to make sure that you fully understand who is in charge here, and I have to ensure that you will do as you are told, and
quite frankly, you haven’t been very good at following instructions so far”.
As you speak you are binding my hands behind me with some soft rope, it feels delicious and wicked at the same time, my cunt is becoming swollen and wet, I need you to touch me there but don’t dare to ask.
“I’m sorry!”, I say beseechingly “I promise I will try harder now, please, let me try!”. I feel no shame, after all, you are making me do it! I have no choice.

“Too late for apologies I’m afraid” You laugh, “It’s time to learn your lesson!”.
You pull me from the bed and push me to my knees, I can feel your hard cock against my flushed cheek. Your fingers curl into my hair and you hold my head back, you trace the outline of my lips with the tip, leaving a trail of pre come around my mouth, you are rock hard, and I can tell you are as eager as me for things to progress.
“You, my love, will now suck and lick me until I am fully satisfied, and please, bear in mind that if you don’t please me, there will be worse consequences for you!”.
You lift your cock and offer your balls for some attention, I am excited to find that they have been newly waxed and feel quite smooth.

I start to kiss and gently nibble you there, feeling myself grow bolder in my actions, I appear to have left any previous inhibitions I had behind at the bar!, I have never felt this wanton before. I nuzzle into you, then take a few long, slow licks, when I reach the root of your cock, I gently tease with my tongue. ‘This’, I think to myself, ‘is fun!’.
You moan and sigh as I do my best to give you pleasure, occasionally your knees weaken and you almost fall. When you can no longer take the sensations you are feeling, you press the tip of your cock against my lips. I want to take control of this, I want to take you in my hand and guide you into my mouth, but my hands are bound and I  feel helpless.
“Suck me!”, you demand. I open my mouth to you and taste the salt of your come, You groan as I gently take you in and circle my tongue around the head of your cock, you feel some
slight vibration as I, also, begin to moan with the pleasure of giving pleasure. You utter barely recognisable words of encouragement and I feel your cock throb and throng against my tongue. I know you are getting close to coming. It isn’t long before you withdraw from my mouth, stand me up and turn me to face the bed.

“I knew you were going to be a cock hungry fuck slut as soon as I laid eyes on you!”, you growl.
“You need to be fucked, hard now, don’t you!?”. You have never spoken to me this way before!. I am shocked and aroused by the violent reactions we are both having to this new-found freedom of sexuality. Unbound lust prompts me to say “Oh god yes, yes please!”. you push my head down so that it is resting on the bed, you hold on to my hips, and gently kick my feet apart to widen my legs. you slide two of your fingers into my eager cunt. I groan with the sensation and push back against your hand. “Oh my god! you are so wet for me! look at you, you are just dying to be fucked, aren’t you!” I hear some amusement in your voice.
“Please!, Jake, please!, fuck me!, please!, don’t tease me anymore!”
Your fingers strobe over my clit as you sink inside of me, relief floods us both and you fuck yourself hard into me.

We abandon ourselves to the sheer euphoria of the fuck. We are wanton, feral and wild. you slam yourself into and against me, I gratefully receive each thrust, and grind myself back against you. But suddenly, you take hold of my hips and stop me in my abandoned state. You push deep into me and hold me there, one hand reaches for my clit and you stroke and rub me, I am wild with pleasure and try to writhe free of your grip so that I can slide back and forth over you. Your grip is vice like.
“Come!” you say, your voice harsh with lust.
“No!”, I plead, “I want to come with you”
“You will do as you are fucking well told!, now COME!” You shout.
I feel my climax begin to rise in me immediately, my body would obey your command even if my mind didn’t want to!
“Yes”, you say “Good!,.. oh!.. good girl!,  I can feel your cunt gripping me!” you exclaim. I feel the familiar fluttering begin inside me.
“Now I feel you,  You’re pulsing inside, it feels like you are massaging my cock with your cunt!,
do it, let it go!, do it now!, Come for me!”
A gut wrenching orgasm rips through me, I shudder and tremble, obeying your orders, it is enough to send you over the edge too, you cry out in relief and I feel the small jets of your warm come spurt deep into me.

You hold on to me for a while as our excitement ebbs. We both need time to catch our breath. You withdraw from me and begin to carefully untie me, you kiss the pressure marks left by the ropes and help to massage life back into my numb hands.  My wrists and cunt are thrumming with their abuse. I am grinning none the less, like a fucking Cheshire cat!
“So!” I say “Where have you been hiding all this time? huh? this is not the Jake I know!”
You look a little sheepish but you are grinning too. You check yourself then, and your facebecomes serious again.
“Never you mind where I have been! you just make sure you keep up this standard of work, then the Jake you know will stay firmly in the past!” Then you are grinning again.
“That reminds me”, I say, ” do I get that gift now or what?”.
“I suppose so”, you reply “You’ve definitely earned it!”.
You pass me the box and I unwrap it, relishing the thought that you planned our reunion so well, and thrilled at the prospect of a new, more exciting life together. Inside the box is a note, it reads:

‘Happy Anniversary babe, heres to the present.’

Beneath the note, nestled snugly in some satin is a shiny pair of handcuffs!
“Aww honey, that’s so sweet”, I chuckle “but I haven’t got you anything”.
“You’ve already given me my gift!” you say, kissing me deeply. I feel a stir,
“So, what do you want to do next?” I ask with a cheeky grin….

~  fin

From → Erotica

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